The Michigander

BUH-bye, Blogspot

2003-08-02T00:16:00.000-04:00

The Michigander has officially moved. Update your links to http://themichigander.mu.nu Just a little organization, unpack a few odds and ends and do some redecorating, and it'll be all done. Woohoo!

Oh, and before Collins says it...

2003-08-01T14:59:00.000-04:00

I'd like to note that I am not running away. I'm not scared of you Collins and I'm not French either, stop saying that. The depths to which some people will go, I tell you....

Following the crowd... off blogspot

2003-08-01T14:22:00.000-04:00

Thanks to the amazing Pixy Misa, I'm leaving Blogspot for a nice shiny new MT home! Woohoo! (Sorry, Susie: you'll have to update your template (but here's some link-love to steel you...) My new bloghome is here. I haven't gotten all the furniture in yet (wow, there's boxes all over the place) but I should be all done by the end of the weekend. You'll have to stop by... maybe I'll make some chocolate chip cookies....)

Happy Birthday, Gnat!

2003-07-30T00:56:00.000-04:00

The Blogosphere's favorite child turns three today. Of course, the Bleat is your first stop in the 'sphere, so you already know this.... It is your first stop, right?

This means war...

2003-07-29T21:22:00.000-04:00

Collins has impugned my honor and, by extension, the state of Michigan. I fight for her honor against the barbarian from Long Island.

Hey, someone can say nice things about me (take notes, Collins)

2003-07-29T00:37:00.000-04:00

I've been blogrolled by Musings from the Imperial Senate. If someone with the name DarthVOB can manage to compliment me, surely a certain Long Islander can do it...

Deja vu all over again

2003-07-28T21:14:00.000-04:00

From Fox News comes this no-longer shocking account, no less idiotic for already having been tried, three months ago:

AUSTIN, Texas — Democratic state lawmakers fled Texas on Monday for the second time in three months to thwart a Republican drive to redraw the state's congressional districts.

Dear Democrats, I thought you guys were supposed to have your fingers on the pulse of the nation. Weren't you the ones who made policy based on the polls? I think your computer models went a little out of whack since nine-eleven though, might want to check that.

Eleven of the 12 Democrats in the state Senate left for Albuquerque, N.M., as a first special session called by the governor to address redistricting drew to a close and he called a second special session, which began Monday afternoon. The second session could last up to 30 days.

And surprise, surprise, it's still about redistricting. You know, the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over, but expecting a different result. Just sayin', is all...

"We're availing ourselves of a tool given to us by our Texas Constitution to break a quorum," Sen. Gonzalo Barrientos said at a hotel in Albuquerque. "It's not about Democrats, it's about democracy."

Somehow I don't think the Texas Constitution's framers intended to allow a bitter minority to thwart the will of the majority. Oh and it's not about democracy. The United States is a Republic and Texas is a Republic. Nevertheless, in a representative democracy the opposition doesn't get a veto.

Asked how long the group might stay in New Mexico, Barrientos said, "We have to gauge that day by day." Sen. Mario Gallegos Jr. (search) said the trip to New Mexico came as a surprise to him: "I didn't even know we were coming here until I got on the plane."

Wait a sec, here. Your little Dem friends were just like "Hey, let's get on this plane" and you were like, "Hey, cool dude, let's do it" and they were like "Yo, we're headin' to New Mexico and you were like, "Sure, man, that rocks." How did you get to be a legislator again?

Republicans are pressing for more seats in the state's 32-member delegation to the U.S. House. The Democrats currently hold a 17-15 advantage, which Republicans say does not reflect the state's increasingly Republican voting patterns.

Um, yeah. Any districting plan that gives Democrats the majority of seats in freakin' TEXAS is probably not real fair. In conclusion this is probably a good thing because it shows Americans how unethical the Democrat Party becomes when it fears losing its grip on power. I'm not old enough to remember when the Democrats were a healthy, principled party. All I've seen from them is pettiness, hypocrisy and indecency. That's not the way to win the young vote, guys. Fortunately for you my generation doesn't vote.

Not bad, not bad at all

2003-07-26T23:54:00.000-04:00

I'm a Flappy Fish according to theEcosystem. Not too shabby considering that until just recently my blogging rate was somewhere between erratic and non-existent.

Stop the train, I want to get off

2003-07-26T18:36:00.000-04:00

I've known the federal government's antisocial insecurity program was a runaway train for a long time. Any reasonably intelligent person of my generation is resigned to the fact that we will be paying into SS for most of our lives and will not see a penny of it. But this article brings it all together and makes me quite angry.

Oops

2003-07-26T14:56:00.000-04:00

I just remembered I wasn't going to blog about politics anymore. Oh well it's an impossible task. I yield.

A libertarian utopia... in New Hampshire?

2003-07-26T14:40:00.000-04:00

From the Nashua (N.H.)Telegraph via Buck at The Conservatarian's Guide to the Galaxy:

"The Free State Project – a group that hopes to make a U.S. state into a free society – claims it now has about 4,440 members, and expects to reach the 5,000-member mark by next month. Hitting that goal would realize a dream for many Free State members. At that point, members would choose one of 10 states from a list that includes New Hampshire, aiming to find a state that would make an ideal home for a “sphere of liberty.”"

Now I'm not a libertarian: I agree with them on many issues, especially fiscal matters, but my core beliefs are a bit different I think: we've reached many of the same principles and positions, but have taken different paths to get here. Nonetheless I support the Free State Project: if it succeeds, I would definitely consider relocating there. I think it'd be great to see some more diversity among state governments in the US. Other than the requirement to be a republican form of government and provide constitutional rights to its citizens, I don't believe the Constitution prescribes many requirements to the states. There are other models beside the semi-socialist one all 50 states currently have in more-or-less virulent forms. What if there were 5 or 6 different models? What if California became a hard-left socialist parlimentary democracy and New Hampshire went minimalist/libertarian and (say) Michigan devolved power to metropolitan areas? The US would be a free marketplace of governments, with citizens and corporations free to relocate where the government best suited them. Wouldn't that be cool?

Open Letter to the President

2003-07-26T00:35:00.000-04:00

Dear President Bush, I read with amazement this evening that your administration continues to stonewall and cover up for our supposed allies the Saudis. Now listen closely: I am the epitome of your base. I am a conservative Evangelical from the midwest. My family is conservative. I am conservative. I read National Review Online. I laugh at jokes about France. On Election Day 2000, do you know where I was? I was at the Kent County Republican Party HQ making phone calls to your supporters urging them to vote Republican -- mind you, I was not even old enough to vote then. I am your base, but I do not plan to vote for you in 2004. After 9/11 the Right woke up and realized that isolationism is not the answer. We followed you, Mr. President, to Afghanistan and Iraq. We are proud to have a leader who is committed to keeping our nation safe from terrorism. So why have you abandoned us? What is this we keep hearing about Saudis being our friends? Mr. President, the men who turned our own technology against us, killing five thousand Americans in one day: they were Saudis. Their government aids and abets radical Islamism across the globe. Now that we have Iraq, we no longer need them. So why are you covering for them? I have another concern as well, Mr. President. You see, we in the heartland are conservative types. Not merely socially conservative, but fiscally as well. We were excited when the Republican Party swept the 2002 midterms. The House, Senate and 1600 Penn. Avenue are now controlled by the historic party of fiscal restraint. What happened? Thanks for the tax cuts, it's nice to have our own money: but what's all this new spending for? What happened to the common-sense principles of spending what you have and not spending what you don't have? Sir, the many questions I've raised here I do not have a satisfactory answer for. Regardless of the great affection I have for you personally and the masterful job you've done (for the most part) in foreign policy, I cannot support your bid for re-election. Unless you answer these questions, my first vote for the President of the United States will not be a Republican one. You would do well to reconsider the path you are taking. Love, Tim the Michigander

Eric of Classical Values should rename his site Liberal-Moonbat Values

2003-07-25T22:36:00.000-04:00

Eric has floated a Peace Plan to stop the impending war. Great, you say. Frnak is a great and talented satirist, and Glenn Reynolds is, well, the George Washington of blogging. No one wants a war. But this plan is ludicrous. Let's do the "Liberal Moonbat Checklist" on his recent response to my denouncement of his plan:

The peace plan is WORKING! Let's give it a chance! I am shocked and stunned. Someone does not like the Classical Values Peace Plan©! I have said before that I would try to answer all criticism, and much as it pains me, this is no exception.

Outraged, "shocked, SHOCKED!" tone? Check.

Let me tell you, it is not easy to wake up in the morning to find yourself the victim of a right-wing smear campaign attempting to link you to Neville Chamberlain! The comparison is very unfair, and hurtful to my self-esteem. Neville Chamberlain's situation was very complicated, and not easily stereotyped by means of such glib, mean-spirited one-liners. True, his plan may be called appeasement today, but it was never given a real chance to work because of a climate of jingoism and imperialism which clouded the minds of the time, poisoned the wells of human love and understanding, and made it impossible for human beings to open up to each other and begin the New Era of peace and understanding which I believe is upon us now -- if only we would let it evolve!

Mention of VRWC? Check. Self-esteem whining/claims of unfairness? Check. Claims of 'nuances' and 'complexity'? Check. Mis-interpreted, mis-applied historical analogy? Check. Evidence to back up claims? No.

The claim is often made that "appeasement never works." Well, since I floated the Classical Values Peace Plan©, there has not been one shot fired in anger by IMAO. Frank J. has had time to find out about the peace plan, and he is obviously thinking it over carefully. Because in my heart I know that all men are good, and all men want to be good, I believe in Frank's ultimate goodwill. He would never knowingly start a war of aggression -- certainly not if his point of view is thoroughly taken into account, his grievances carefully listened to, and his reasonable demands met. What Frank wants is not much different, after all, from what we all want. We all want hits, and we all want recognition, and we all tend to resent that the bigger and stronger tend to get their way in a world which often forgets the human dynamics of interpersonal interaction.

Idiotic claims of human goodness? Check. Wants agressor's 'point of view' to be understood? Check. Resentfulness of the 'bigger and stronger'? Check. Evidence to back up claims? No.

Frank must be terrified and perplexed by the numerous concerns, motivations and options before him. Given time, I am confident that he will do the right thing, and peace will prevail. The world must of course be made to understand and empathize with the enormity of the personal injustices Frank has suffered -- doubtless more than his fair share of the usual thousand slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune!

More empathizing with agressor? Check.

Frank! We hear you! Frank! We care!

We know you care about him, you disgusting Frank-sympathizer. And it warms our hearts. Oh wait, no it doesn't. Funny how most of us don't sympathize with megalomaniac wanna-be dictators with violent tendencies.

We know that you are a valid, sensitive, concerned human being, wanting desperately to make contact in a cruel and insensitive world! WE FEEL YOUR PAIN, FRANK! GIVE PEACE A CHANCE! Certainly, once Frank knows that others have put themselves in his position, and understood his concerns, I am confident he will vote for peace -- especially when he learns that some of the finest minds in Norway are already dropping hints in Nobel Prize circles about "Frank J. -- man of PEACE." Let's continue to lock arms while we link for peace.

And Nobel reference? Check. Irrelevant Symbolic Protest? Check. Exclamation Point - Word Quotient (measures overall shocked tone)? 13 in a post of 506 words: that's amazing. This guy definitely passes the Liberal Moonbat Checklist -- and that's not a good thing. I want to go flush my eyes with soap and water. I can't believe I'm reading this. WHERE DID YOUR SENSE OF REALITY GO? My blood pressure is going through the roof, and I'm only 18. (OK, calm down, deep breath...) I'm simply amazed, you America-hating, moonbat sycophant. You're sympathizing with a man who has clearly stated his desire to nuke the Moon in order to achieve peace on Earth. The man himself claims to be named "Frank", a word closely associated with France. Such illogic can only belong to the Left. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries. Who let you into the blogosphere, anyway? Good people of the Blogosphere, I'm telling you this plan will not work. The Michigander Peace Plan© is the only plan on the table with the muscle to effect lasting change. Note how I used the verb 'effect' properly in the prior sentence; only about .05 percent of English speakers can do this. My plan is simple: we must inform Frnak that unless he ceases his aggressive actions toward Instapundit immediately, we shall delink him. Since links are his lifeblood and reason-to-be (note how I avoid the French phrase, because I'm not a Frenchie-lover like Frnak and Eric), the threat of delinking will convince him to mend his evil ways.

Thank You, God

2003-07-25T21:59:00.000-04:00

We don't thank God enough for everything. When we remember to in prayers, it ends up being a generic "Thank you for sunshine and family" type thing. I want to live in a spirit of amazed gratitude for everything, so I'm hereby resolving to, every day that I am online until I stop blogging, thank God publicly for at least ten specific things. I may up the number if that's too few. Here's today's. Dear God, Thank You for -Grilled cheese sandwiches, cooked perfectly -The way my cat begs for cheese, and the joy it has when I give it. You love to give us good gifts: don't let me forget it. -Being able to talk with family members who remember eighty years back -The way it feels when you walk inside to an air-conditioned house when it's hot outside -A mind that can understand even the minutest part of You. Thank You for revealing Yourself. -Technology that lets me find friends all over Your world. -The way you've guided my search for a college. Thank You for leading me straight to where You want me for the next four years. -The passion of so many in the blogosphere for justice and lasting peace -The way You send storms that fell tall trees but make the grass greener. Remind me that the weak outlast the strong when You are with them. -For letting me live in a city where I can walk outside and see the stars I encourage you to "be imitators of me" in this, or, in more standard blogspeak, "pass on the meme". :) Wow, that's almost a perfect translation. St. Paul would have loved the blogosphere, I tell you. I can just see it...

Descended into the depths...

2003-07-25T19:06:00.000-04:00

...as Susie might say, into my template to update the blogroll, and even categorize. I'm so a cool person.

PSA: I have delinked Frnak...

2003-07-25T18:45:00.000-04:00

...for political reasons as noted on my blogroll. It is part of the Secret Michigander Plan Sinister (SMPS). I will not be telling any of you what it entails for obvious reasons (secrets and the blogosphere are mortal enemies, continually locked in combat)*. All I will say at this point is that if you are visiting Ohio right now you might want to cut your vacation short, and if you reside there you might want to move. *The real reason is that I'm making this up as I go**. More info may come out on my blog depending on interest (mine and others'). **Real Reason #2 is to show my support for the unfair loss of Collins in Frnak's contesty thing. It also may be construed as showing support for Bill but that wasn't really my intent.

He gets it

2003-07-25T00:15:00.000-04:00

Michael Novak gets the differences between the US and Europe. Our patron saint, so to speak, is Saint Augustine and not Kant or whoever. We Americans have a different idea about the state of the human heart: a lingering Puritanism reminds us that the heart is deceitful, that power is fatally corrupting. At the same time, Novak notes, we inherit from them a sense of optimism and uniqueness. We're the City on the Hill and we'll show the rest of the world the way to go. Contrasted with Europe:

Europeans today have a far weaker belief in the nation state, and have begun to idealize large collective entities, such as the United Nations and the European Community. They are willing to cede sovereignty from one to the other, and in the process to give up a great many safeguards of local democracy. To Americans, in fact, it seems that Europeans revere bureaucrats, in the larger collective, the more so. They certainly pay lavish salaries to countless ranks of them. In addition, the Europeans seem not to be preoccupied with checks and balances, the division of all powers, and other auxiliary precautions, in the protection of liberty from its customary and traditional sources of abuse. Europeans seem relatively passive before their political elites. Europeans even seem to cry out to their elites: "Abuse us!" In other words, to American eyes, Europeans, after all their bad experiences, still seem innocent about concentrations of power. Europeans seem not to believe in original sin, or in the pervasiveness of evil in the hearts of men, for against these they arrange so few protections.

I think it's one of the great, tragic successes of revisionism that the Puritans are so reviled today. They don't deserve their reputation... although the New England liberals today seem to have taken a page from their supposed playbook, defending their rigid, unrealistic dogma....

Whither Marriage?

2003-07-24T15:48:00.000-04:00

I'm increasingly convinced that within a very short time (possibly months, certainly years) gay marriage will become a huge issue, the next great front in the Culture Wars. And under the present circumstances, the liberals will almost certainly win if conservatives hold the "one man, one woman, one lifetime" position. We need to come up with some creative ways to save this institution, as the folks over at National Review seem to understand. Right now this is just a thought exercise. In three years at the most, it will no longer be. And we've got a handy CS Lewis quote:

Before leaving the question of divorce, I should like to distinguish two things which are very often confused. The Christian conception of marriage is one: the other is the quite different question--how far Christians, if they are voters or Members of Parliament, ought to try to force their views of marriage on the rest of the community by embodying them in the divorce laws. A great many people seem to think that if you are a Christian yourself you should try to make divorce difficult for every one. I do not think that. At least I know I should be very angry if the Mahommedans tried to prevent the rest of us from drinking wine. My own view is that the Churches should frankly recognise that the majority of the British people are not Christians and, therefore, cannot be expected to live Christian lives. There ought to be two distinct kinds of marriage: one governed by the State with rules enforced on all citizens, the other governed by the Church with rules enforced by her on her own members. The distinction ought to be quite sharp, so that a man knows which couples are married in a Christian sense and which are not.

Lewis seems to be suggesting something along the lines of the libertarian idea of privatizing marriage. The problem is that the prevailing current in that line of thought seems to be that the State basically legalizes marriage between any two persons, then the churches step in and establish their own codes. The problem is that Lewis is thinking of this from an English perspective, where there is for all intents and purposes one church. If that is tried here, the result will likely be several dozen forms of marriage with differing levels of strictness. I don't think this will work. What we need is action, now. The National Association of Evangelicals or whatever needs to come up with one specific proposal. Christianity Today and World Magazine should be writing editorials. We need to get the Catholics, the Orthodox and the conservative Jews in on this too. Possibly Muslims, but that's probably not politically possible right now, and I'm not sure how compatible their marriage traditions are. We have to get a clearly distinguishable version of marriage, one that has a ban on any divorces save in case of abuse or adultery. We need to do this right away. Denominational solutions will not work; a stronger approach is needed.

New proposal to stop BlogWar I

2003-07-24T13:46:00.000-04:00

Eric of Classical Values has a new proposal to stop the rapidly developing BlogWar between Frnak of IMAO and the puppyblender Glenn. It runs as follows:

Here is what I propose as a peace solution. What Frank really wanted -- what really started this war -- is hits. Originally, Frank was angry because Glenn Reynolds failed to link to him directly as Frank had demanded. Instead, Frank felt ridiculed. Well, I have a plan. A dream for a lasting PAX BLOGIORUM! Now, I don't know whether what I am proposing is a breach of blog ethics (I have only been blogging for two months and, quite started frankly, I have never been noted for my ethics anyway, so how would I know, and if I did know how would I care?) To be frank about it, I thought, well, frankly, if Frank wants hits, if all of his allies just started franking their blogs and every time the word "frank" appears in any context (even as a part of a larger word, like "Frankish") they could put a link to http://imao.us/, then maybe, just maybe, Frank would be appeased for a time, and the war at least postponed. My tentative peace/ceasefire plan (and you don't have to be a genius and write syrupy sonnets to do this): Just frank the hell out of your blog. If everyone put the word "frank" with a link to http://imao.us/ each time the word frank appeared, then technorati and truthlaidbear would have alltime new records, Frank's hits would exceed anything in blog history, and war might be averted.

Yeah, great idea, Eric. Let's appease the guy, then he'll stop. HELLO! We tried this with Hitler. We tried this with freakin' Saddam. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? Really, I can't see how you claim to be part of the blogosphere. If this plan is accepted, bet you shoot off a victory post with "Peace In Our Time" as the title. Folks, the only way to get this war to stop is immediate action against the real agressor, Frank, whom I am blatantly and explicitly not linking to, must be stopped. If you recall, he began this by making false claims against the Instapundit and quickly stepping up the pressure. He's a Hitler in the making, blogizens. I guess this makes me Churchill. And Eric is none other than our beloved Neville C. On the other hand, I bet Glenn hasn't ever been compared to Poland before. No, this is not a blatant attempt at an Instalanche. Deal with it, I'm not interested in hits. OK, I lied. So what?

Glad I'm don't live there

2003-07-22T23:51:00.001-04:00

CNN reports that Kansas is proportionately flatter than a pancake. Who knew? Oooh, oooh. Pick me... I'm so glad to live in a place with hills. You haven't watched a sunset until you've watched it setting over the hills of Grand Rapids' West Side from a high vantage point on the other side of the Grand Valley.

It IS him...

2003-07-22T14:31:00.000-04:00

John denies he's responsible for my blogging problems

The Michigander seems to think that I'm petty and vindictive. How dare you say such things about me! I'll get you for that if it's the last thing I do! But seriously, your dead on there Tim. But my beef isn't with you, no worries, although there's a few people I would like to straighten out.

But he, in the prior paragraph, has complained about comments not working right... the very same sort of problem I'm now having:

Ever notice how when you have free comments, and then you write a post where you really want people to give you feedback, your comments stop working? How dare they provide a service at no cost and not have it working perfectly at all times!

Concidence? Subtle threat? I report, I decide: it's his fault.

Not again...

2003-07-21T18:51:00.000-04:00

Now comments aren't working right. New comments get posted, but there isn't any change in the thingy that says "no comments yet" or " (3) comments".

Blogger Changes Mind; No One Cares

2003-07-21T02:06:00.000-04:00

Not like you care, but I've decided that writing about politics is stupid because there are three thousand other people who say the same things, and they get there first too because I'm too lazy to write about them. So my new plan is to focus on unique material: my life, the horrible things my ADD makes me do. One of the reasons I started this blog was that I was annoyed with the secular tone of the media. They for the most part ignore religion and when they try to cover it they get this whole National Geographic-type tone, going on about the quaint practices ("and the more devout among this congregation attend services twice on Sunday, once in the mid-morning and once around sunset"). But now I realize, hey, I'm in the media now. Instead of dissing CNN which is not really going to notice or care about me, I'll produce my own content. So a new major goal of this blog is I suppose what Instapundit would call place-blogging, but more like lifestyle-blogging: trying to show what it's like to live in an atmosphere of faith, sort of like background music that you every once in a while start humming along to, tapping your foot....

Neo...calvinism?

2003-07-21T00:11:00.000-04:00

Neocalvinism Today is a movement that "suggest[s] against the corrosive individualism of libertarians and the constrictive collectivism of fascists the idea of sphere sovereignty." As far as I can see, this movement calls for the advent of Christian labour unions, political parties, etc. Intriguing, and I'm attracted to it. I have serious reservations about the libertarian movement and unfettered capitalism in general... well not free-market economics per se, but the statements during this last recession to the effect that "It's patriotic to buy things" made me more than a little uneasy. I don't know if I'll be able to support Bush in '04. I almost certainly will not be a Republican. But my mind's had this sort of fourfold, The World's Smallest Political Quiz-induced view of politics for so long (you've basically got the conservatives, the liberals, the libertarians and the populists, with anarchists, fascists and commies on the fringes). But it looks like, from the email addresses at the bottom of the page, that several of the editors attend Redeemer University in Canada, so I'm sure I'll learn lots more... Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm going to college (they call it university) in Canada. I'm excited. I don't think I'll change blogs though, I'm still a Michigander at heart. I'm leaving at the end of August; hopefully I'll still have time to blog (like I've blogged so much this summer).

Thank you, Mr Blair

2003-07-20T23:39:00.000-04:00

I didn't hear the speech, didn't even know about it until the day afterward, and I just got around to reading the transcript. Best quote:

There is a myth that though we love freedom, others don't; that our attachment to freedom is a product of our culture; that freedom, democracy, human rights, the rule of law are American values or Western values; that Afghan women were content under the lash of the Taliban; that Saddam was somehow beloved by his people; that Milosevic was Serbia's savior. Members of Congress, ours are not Western values. They are the universal values of the human spirit, and anywhere -- (applause) -- anywhere, any time ordinary people are given the chance to choose, the choice is the same: freedom, not tyranny; democracy, not dictatorship; the rule of law, not the rule of the secret police.

If only we had a leader with Blair's oratory and Bush's heart and Alan Keyes's politics....

Am I a terrorist? or just bipolar?

2003-07-17T23:34:00.000-04:00

If India (where I was born) is considered a part of the middle east, then:
Threat reating: Extreme. You see that black sedan
outside your window? Big brother is watching...

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla If not, then:
Threat rating: zero. Excellent work - you
demonstrate all the qualities of patriotism
that will make America even greater under Bush.
USA no.1!!!

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Michigander

2003-07-17T22:54:00.000-04:00

The Michigander appears to be completely functional. I still refuse to be happy, however, in the knowledge that as soon as I exhibit symptoms of joy the blogspot gods shall move in for the kill. Really, what have I ever done to you? What? You want me to delete what? The post calling blogspot a suspect outfit? No way! I'm a blogger, I know my rights. Censorship! The Blog Gods are censoring my unpopular speech! I demand an Instalink to let the world know of this travesty! Where are you when a blogger needs you, Glenn?

I should have known this was a suspect outfit

2003-07-17T20:56:00.000-04:00

The Blogspot site offers "an in-depth overview" of its services. What, pray tell, is an in-depth overview? Is it anything like a jumbo shrimp?

Problem solved... yes!

2003-07-17T16:30:00.001-04:00

I have fixed the problem. I reset the template after saving my source code, cut and pasted my blogroll into the default template, readded comments, readded the site meter... and voila, good as new! I still can't figure out what made my template go away: it was either my accidentally deleting and then saving, or Blogger's deleting then saving. I do know, however, that it was Bill's fault. Update: Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Coming back online this evening (I'm an addict I tell you) I discover that all my posts have exactly two comments. At first I thought it was hackers (I have an inflated sense of self-importance and I dissed John Collins on his blog earlier, he seems rather vindictive and petty so he could have done it. But, I soon realized, it was actually that I'd inserted the wrong comments coding. (Again, this is still Bill's fault. So I corrected the comments, checked the blog again: hmm, everything seems to be OK, the comments work OK... hey, where's my blogroll?!? It seems to have migrated to the bottom of my blog. I do not know why. I inserted the comments code, that's it. I don't know how this happened. I cannot fix it. I fear my template far to much to reenter its depths. The moral of the story is, If you have a blog on blogspot do not ever be happy again because the software is spying on you and will take any fleeting moment of happiness and turn it into a day of sorrow and frustration and weeping and gnashing of teeth. Gnashing of teeth, I tell you.

More drooling over my newest toy

2003-07-16T09:02:00.000-04:00

Did I forget to mention that the beta Google Toolbar not only has a popup blocker but also, for your gloating pleasure, includes an icon telling you how many of those annoying buggers your Google Toolbar has blocked. It's so lovely to watch it flash in what I assume are the throes of ecstasy as it gobbles up the two annoying-beyond-all-annoyances of the two popups at National Review's main page. Google is quickly turning into my new idol (the old one was the amazing copy machine at my high school, which did everything short of hand out the copies to the students). Must... resist... worship....

This could be a problem...

2003-07-16T02:25:00.000-04:00

I can't find my template. I click on the Template tab and it opens; but the field that ought to have my weblog template in it is blank. The page is fully loaded: there's the little 'done' sign on my status bar. I loaded the template page several times throughout the day Tuesday, hoping it was a temporary Blogspot glitch. Is anyone else having this problem? Well, at least I got comments and sitemeter up. I'm still warmed by the afterglow of that. And I can blog either by going to the Blogger website or by using my new handy-dandy blogger button on my IE browser. I'm going to bed now, since it's 2 in the morning. I'll be gone all day tomorrow (er, today) but I'll be back tomorrow night. My template will be back. I will be happy.

Confessions of a Blog Addict

2003-07-15T22:43:00.000-04:00

It's sort of scary. I'm to the point where I can go around following links and checking out blogrolls for an indefinite period of time. I've been online from twelve to two, from four to five-thirty and from seven to now (ten-thirty). And it would have been all day if I hadn't had to run errands. Anyway, I discovered a whole new neighborhood of Blog City: the knitosphere. Via Dean Esmay's site, I followed the Michigan Blogs webring two sites down to the blog Days in the Life of a Serial Knitter. What's disturbing is not so much that this blogger writes about knitting but that her blogroll has like fifty other blogs with names like "knit-tastic" and "Fiber Addict" and "At My Knits End". It's... disturbing. In the stead of normal sidebar images like "Support the Iranian Students Movement" or "I Support Bush", "Proud To Knit In Public". I mean, come on.

Google Toolbar

2003-07-15T00:02:00.000-04:00

Google Toolbar is a nifty new feature from Google that gives you a toolbar with a googlesearch field and a little button that lets you post without having to log in, switch between windows, etc. Catch: you have to be on blogspot, I think. Too bad so many people've recently moved...

Why yes, I am the ruler of the world

2003-07-14T23:16:00.000-04:00

I've got comments. I've got site meter. I've got no experience whatsoever with any sort of code. Yessss. I rock.

Reason #5,629,482 Why I Love America

2003-07-10T00:45:00.000-04:00

I was walkin' around the block a couple minutes ago ('bout midnight), thinking out a post on political philosophy (and one that I should have typed out and posted this weekend or sooner). I'm wearing cutoff shorts and no shirt; I'm a dark-skinned, male 18 year old. Fairly suspicious, I guess, especially in the middle of the night. (Apparently, there are persons who don't use the Internet except for email and stuff, and these alleged persons have something they call "bed time" roughly corresponding to my "post-dinner Internet binge".) Anyway, I see a pair of headlights coming toward me. I'm not wearing my contacts (and it's dark anyway), so I didn't realize it was a police cruiser until he was almost up to me. I wondered if he'd pull over, ask me where I was going, etc. I wouldn't have minded -- I'm not one of these idiotarian, cop-hating minorities who wear t-shirts like "Bad cop, no donut" and wonder why they get harrassed when pulled over for going eighty in a fifty-five zone. But I digress... The cruiser flashed his lights and kept going. Then I remembered, hey... this is America. He didn't have the right to ask me what I was doing. I'm an adult, a law-abiding citizen, and not only do I have the freedom to go wherever I want, I don't have to answer for my actions to any agent of the government. I was walking on public property -- MY property, as a shareholder in the business that is America. Even in semi-liberal nations like France, the police could ask me for my papers: but not here. Thank God for this country. Seriously. Get on your knees and thank the God who gives you the right to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness that two hundred-odd years ago, a group of men decided it was high time the ordinary people got to exercise those inalienable rights. Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world wide-welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame, " Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp ! " cries she With silent lips. " Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door ! " -Emma Lazarus

Can't resist... must post link...

2003-07-09T18:54:00.000-04:00

OK, when Susie calls attention to the fact that I didn't actually link to Frank J. on his blogiversary, I can no longer hold out. I had believed that I could outsmart Frank by mentioning him without giving a link, but his minions are everywhere; I concede defeat. Update: Wow, there are a lot of references to Frank on Susie's site today. I wonder if she's really the IMAOster's alter ego....

May Ninja Monkeys Not Come Near Me

2003-07-09T03:11:00.000-04:00

Frank J. says that unless I post a link on our front page to him today, he'll do... something. It was either nuke the moon or set Chomps on me or send a team of ninja-trained primates after me. I also don't remember what made today special. It might be his birthday. Or his blogiversary. I do know today's the Carnival of the Liberties over at Winds of Change. May a wind of change truly blow over that oppressed nation.

Bloggered again! A July 9 "Independence Day" Posting

2003-07-09T02:56:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to make a (belated) Independence Day post, but it keeps being bloggered... will this attempt work? Anyway, CS Lewis, though a Brit, makes a great summary of the Anglospheric concept of limited government: "[I]t is easy to think the State has a lot of different objects -- military, political, economic, and what not. But in a way things are much simpler than that. The State exists simply to promote and protect the ordinary happiness of human beings in this life. A husband and a wife chatting over a fire, a couple of friends having a game of darts in a pub, a man reading a book in his own room or digging in his own garden -- that is what the State is there for. And unless they are helping to increase and prolong and protect such moments, all the laws, parliaments, armies, courts, police, economics, etc., are simply a waste of time." That's right. The State doesn't exist for income redistribution, as a jobs program, to be the morals police, to GIVE us our rights; no, the State is instituted by God to protect us from attacks on our God-given rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, be they threatened by foreign invasion or domestic crime or the media or a corporation. But who will guard the guards themselves? That's you and me, buddy. And hopefully, we'll fill in some of the blanks: help the poor, maintain high standards of morality, act as forces for good with the help of God. Then maybe the Nanny State will get back to its legitimate role.

I'm Back

2003-07-09T01:46:00.000-04:00

Actually, I posted some stuff Saturday, but it was bloggered (new verb, pass it on!).

Take away my left lung... anything but this...

2003-06-28T21:18:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I'm not going to have internet access for a whole week, from Sunday to Friday. Noooo. I'll be so out of it. I'll stop at the Mickey D's in Evart on the way home Friday afternoon, they have the NYT there. Then I can get my food from the Subway across the street and catch up on the news. Then I'll come home and read the blogs all night. You guys are just going through Instapundit withdrawal, I'll be going through everything withdrawal. Sigh. Sob.

Blogger-blegging

2003-06-28T21:02:00.000-04:00

How do I get stuff to indent? I'd like to set off my poems and writings I am commenting on, but I'd like to save italics and bold for emphasizing and clarifying my own words. Also, where exactly do I insert comments into the blogcode? Help help. Note: eight months ago, the phrase "blogger-blegging" would have meant the same to me as "due process" appears to mean to Orrin Hatch, (R) Utah (or, in the interest of keeping everyone mad at me, the same as "four-thousand-year-old institution" means to Andrew Sullivan). Who'd've thought I would have stopped watching Fox and gotten all my news online? By the way, the poem below ends with "Thank you." That's part of the poem, not the post, although I do thank you for reading it as well.

To My High School Teachers

2003-06-28T20:43:00.000-04:00

Another facet of my character is that I'm a poet. I did my Senior Project on the characteristics of good poetry, and I enjoy reading and writing poetry. This poem was written sitting in front of my locker at the small Christian high school I attended. Actually, I'd already graduated when it was written, but I was early picking my little bro up from school. My graduating class had, I think, thirty students. Yeah, small. I feel I should remove my shoes, standing in this now-hallowed hallway That I have walked these last Four years: have laughed and cried, have Learned and loved, and now am leaving. So much has changed: the carpet's color, Faces, friends: myself most of all. I see myself, exuberant freshman, Running to my locker (no. 57), mere Feet from where I sit: but light-years ago. I hear my classmates' conversations echoing: I recognize each individual's laugh. I know Their voices, and they know mine: That�s community, like it or not. Other voices I hear too: the teachers Lecturing, praying, joking, listening. (Make no mistake: you can hear it when Someone's truly listening to you. I know, as does every graduate of this school.) And all of them dispensing wisdom In a way beyond their years: for they Are full of life, energetic, passionate. I have done so much here, have learned So much, have grown so much. Of all the million graduates this year, I feel I am most blessed. Thank you.

Thank you, Rory Lee

2003-06-28T20:31:00.000-04:00

I just want to thank Rory Lee for sending me some tips on blogging, and generally giving encouragement. It's nice to know someone's read what you've put out there. If anyone else wants to give me advice, I gladly solicit it; my email is timoteo57 at msn dot com.

Blogosphere Week In Review (June 22-28)

2003-06-28T20:28:00.000-04:00

Really, there hasn't been much going on, in my life or in the Blogosphere. And I have amazingly been able to keep my mouth shut, (fingers still?) in spite of the fact that I don't let not having anything to say stop me in real life. That previous sentence is akward... how do you spell it? I'm regressing, I tell you. So, I'll summarize the Blogonews AND comment on it, all in one pocket-sized post. 1) Ann Coulter is the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary SLASH Ann Coulter is a rightwing version of She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, HRC. My reaction: Yawn. I've never read an Ann Coulter post, er column (forgot, when you're paid it's a column. . I could really care less, and if bloggers are complaining about other people ranting.... Pot, be a good pot and introduce yourself to Kettle while I play the Imperial Nanotech Violin (why yes, I have been reading the Emperor a lot lately, why do you ask?) 2) Affirmative action is racist. My two cents (3 cents canadian!): Definitely. Being a Non-approved Minority I certainly qualify to complain. But I really haven't got anything else to add. Besides, all ranting and no happy posting will make Tim an irritable person. 3) Go to Dean's World. I have actually been posting and stuff. Dean's so great, and so is his site. It's hard to find someone whose position on such a monumental issue as religion is diametrically opposed but whom you admire and respect deeply. I mean, I'm a die-hard Calvinist (we converts are always more passionate) and he's an agnostic. I love this country, where differences of opinion are not grounds for assault. 4) The Bright meme. Can't believe Dean Esmay and Glenn Reynolds, among others, have so dropped the ball on this one. I'm sorry, but it's derogatory, intellectually dishonest and an horrendous use of the English language. See, nothing happened this week. And I won't be here next week because I'm a volunteer counselor at a camp Up North (that is, the Northern Lower Peninsula of Michigan) while they hold Special Week, which is basically camp for mentally disabled (is that the PC term still?) adults. It's so much fun, and there's so many great stories. I'll tell you them when I get back, I'm planning to keep a log (the pen-and-paper kind, so 1995, I know). That means I get to transcribe. Yippee. My typing abilities are so much worse when I'm not writing from my head.

PSA: I Get Linked!

2003-06-28T20:07:00.000-04:00

We interrupt this hiatus to give you, my reader(s?) the following announcement: I have been blogrolled. By Susie at Practical Penumbra. Woohoo! I'm so excited.

I Am Royally Ticked Off

2003-06-21T01:34:00.000-04:00

I have to tell you, I'm usually an easygoing guy. Really. I am, for instance, pretty nice about letting people borrow my stuff, I'm generally willing to give people five bucks or so (remember, I'm an unemployed just-out-of-high-schooler so I'm really really poor). I'm not perfect by any means and I mess up all the time, but I'd like to think I'm a fairly good person in this regard. But I was so incredibly ticked off today, I said something really stupid too, stupid as in I could have gotten myself really beat up bad. OK, to set the scene... I was driving to King Park which is in inner-city Grand Rapids, a poor black neighborhood, to have a picnic with some friends from high school. A white friend of mine (I'm Asian Indian, remember) was following me in his car, and stopped at a light a few blocks from the car I saw two black guys, well-dressed and in their 20s or 30s waving newspapers. At first I wasn't really paying attention but then I noticed that the headline said "The Day Israel Attacked America". I had read that there was a strain of anti-semitism in the black community, but somehow it's different when it's real life, not the Internet. You figure there's lots of crazies in Montana or SF or somewhere, but when it's your hometown, and not just dumb stuff like "innuendo" or whatever, but actual racist, anti-semitic absolute shit-- arrgh. I shook my fist at them, I really couldn't think of anything intelligent to say to that absolute scum. Before I could do anything (probably Providentially), the light turned green. I did cuss up a blue storm as I drove the rest of the way to the park. Tore into the lot; as soon as my friend parked I stormed up to his car and screamed "Did you see what those fucking niggers were doing..." then I realized I was standing in a park filled with black people.... Thanks be to God, I wasn't, erm, noticed. My skin color saved the day - if my friend had said it, white as he is, half the park would've been on his back, quite literally. I'm sorry I used those words: I don't really have a problem with swear words as long as they're not just used as filler but I do think it's wrong to use colorful language against people (thus, saying "fuck" won't piss me off, how is it different from "darn"? but saying "fuck you, OK?" or "go to hell", or any profane use of the Lord's name, is definitely over the line-- I'm not even a huge fan of "gosh" or "jeez", kind of weird I suppose. Anyway, I crossed the line today and I do regret it, but all the same I think that my anger was completely righteous and I think those two men deserved to be called it. Just not by me: I should have left that to the Judge. The day of the wicked will come. I don't happen to be of that strain of Christians who believe (to me, weird) things about the necessity of the salvation of the Jews and the establishment of Israel as I don't even know what, a precursor to the end I imagine. I really don't understand it all, although I'd like to sit down and talk with someone who did so I could get it straightened out. But I do think Israel's a pretty special place. The Jews were God's chosen people, and even though they rejected Christ, God promised to show his love to them for a thousand generations. And from a purely secular vantage, what other nation can trace its history not in decades or centuries, but three or four millenia? The Jews have survived two thousand years of persecution since the destruction of their homeland in seventy AD. A hundred years ago, they began coming home; sixty years ago 6 million of them were massacred; then they established their nation and defended it against incredible odds... and you know the rest of the story. It angers me that we minorities, especially black minorities, can get away with absolutely racist, unfounded statements that the media would never let a white person say. We still have so far to go on the racism issue, complicated by the fact that we've got white-on-black and black-on-white and Jews and Hispanics (now officially the largest minority) and of course middle-class Asians like me. I agree with my fellow conservatives that anti-discrimination laws & affirmative action are counterproductive, but I don't think either side of the political aisle has really tried to get to the heart; nor can they, secular movements that they are. This is a spiritual issue, digging deep into the human psyche. To overcome the instinctual fear of the other, for all sides to give and receive forgiveness, the hand of God is needed. This looks like a job for the Church... and we've been procrastinating for thirty years.

I Am Minority, Hear Me Rant But Not Beg Government For Special Rights

2003-06-18T03:30:00.000-04:00

I'm tired of having the group with which I most identify in this nation continually mocked, misunderstood and slandered. Almost every day I read a comment online or see on TV a derogatory, condescending remark toward evangelical Christians. To help those who seem to be sensitive to every freakin' miniscule minority except Evangelicals, I offer this list. Misconceptions About Evangelicals, In No Particular Order Of Importance 1. We are not all members of the "Religious Right". I know plenty of proud leftist who are, nonetheless, Evangelicals. Granted, they are a minority within our community. But, in a disturbing correlation to the larger American society, the leftist have managed to seize control, to a frightening extent, of the bureaucratic centers of power-- our denominational headquarters, our magazines and our publishing houses. I cringed to see that David Englehard, the general secretary of the Christian Reformed Church, my denomination, was a signatory on that stupid What Would Jesus Drive? campaign a while back. Actually, I don't have problems with cleaner cars or mass transit or whatever, I think it's a pretty good idea to conserve when you can, for financial and environmental reasons. But I don't think a church leader should be using his position to promulgate his own partisan views unless the church is very strongly to one side of the issue (like on abortion, to use the most obvious example). Wow, that was quite a meander. On to #2. 2. We are not all Fundamentalists. Fundamentalism relates to Evangelicalism something like Orthodox Jewry relates to Reform Judaism. It depends on the definition, however. If you call "Fundamentalism" the belief that the Bible is the literal Word of God, that God basically moved persons to write, in such a way that each writer retained his own perspective and style but that the original words were indeed infallible, well, that's closer to a definition of Evangelicalism: but I have a feeling most non-Evangelicals would indeed call this Fundamentalism. By this definition, I'm a Fundamentalist. However, my concept of Fundamentalism would be one that treats the Bible as literal to the extent that it refuses to acknowledge the difference between the symbolism of Revelation and the logical prose of Paul. Fundamentalism to me connotates a premillenial dispensationalist eschatology (meaning, end-times theology (eschatology) that believes Christ will come before he reigns on earth for a thousand years (premillenialism) and... well, I can't really describe dispensationalism without writing a lot more than I want to tonight, but this is the part that looks for a Rapture in which all Christians will be taken to heaven, leaving the unbelievers 7 years of tribulation before Christ returns. Suffice it to say, this point of view relies on an overly literal view of prophetic literature like Revelation that reads Western, rational ideas into figurative language that the original, first-century Jewish converts almost certainly read as symbolic. Not that I don't believe events in Revelation will not occur, but more on this later -- getting off-track again. 3. We are not all Baptist or Catholic. This may seem a strange comment, but in the few instances I've seen a church portrayed on TV, it was either Catholic or black Baptist. These are sort of extremes, and there's lots of in-between stuff. While I'm on the subject, it would be nice to see more religion in TV shows. I realize that producers are required to make only shows about twentysomething apartment dwellers in New York City, but it would be nice if they would talk about faith now and then or even pray, or go to church for something besides funerals or weddings. I thought Bruce Almighty was an excellent movie, by the way. I had some theological issues with it (I have theological issues with practically everything to the left of the esteemed French lawyer-turned-Swiss theologian John Calvin and the (infamous) Puritan Jonathan Edwards). Remind me sometime to blog about Puritans, and how they were not all that "puritanical". Oh wait, I don't have any readers. Never mind. 4. Don't assume I would like to take over the government, destroy the Constitution and establish a theocracy. Do you know how many Puritan Calvinists were among the Founding Fathers? Well, I'm not sure either, in that I don't have any exact numbers. But I'm reasonably certain it was at least a majority, if not an overwhelming one. I will try to find some actual statistics on that, but my point is that very few Christians are not overwhelmingly supportive of the First Amendment, even if we think that the ACLU takes separation of church and state quite a ways past the Founders' intent. I have never, ever met anyone who wanted a theocracy. At least, they didn't tell me so. Hmmm. 5. We are not all white. I myself am Asian Indian, although I admit I was adopted into a white family, and I've grown up in a middle-class, white community, and the vast majority of the people in my church are white (and Dutch, to boot, which is like, white beyond white. (The CRC (Christian Reformed Church) didn't even let people dance until recently, and it's easy to see why.) Well, if you're going to hold a stereotype, I suppose this would be the best one. Sigh. 6. Same goes for being middle-class. I live in a middle-class, mainly white neighborhood, but the Christian high school I attended was primarily lower-class Hispanic. I'd estimate 20% Dominican (from the Dominican Republic, not Catholic monks or whatever), 10% Mexican, 10% Some Other Hispanic, 20% black, 5% Asian (woohoo, that's my Ethnic Group!) and the rest (35%) white. A substantial portion of that white group, however, is missionary kids (MK's in evangelical, um, slang) -- they're poorer than any of us, believe me. By the way, you can tell Dominicans from Mexicans, and they get pissed if you confuse them. I assume other Hispanics are distinguishable, too, but I can't really do it. Oh, and I don't speak fluent Spanish, but I think I can tell the difference between Spanish Spanish and New World Spanish. Can you do that? Would a monolingual Hispanic be able to discriminate between an Englishman and an American? Email if you know (even if you don't) so I can be happy I have a reader. Or you could tell me how to get a web counter (I know squat about coding) so that I can obsessively check it every five minutes to see if anyone besides me has visited. Yes, I'm pathetic.

Why Blogging Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

2003-06-17T22:32:00.000-04:00

How come as soon as I start blogging, news stops. I've been in rant mode for the last five months and I've been intending to get a blog, but been too busy. Now school's out, I've got nothing to do, and there isn't anything to freakin' rant about. I'm ranting about the lack of Rantable Stuff. I need help, I'm reduced to making snarky comments about Ohioans at Bloviatin Ginanities (or is it Blovia Tinginan Ities?) Words should not be longer than three syllables, m'kay? Update: Unless I'm using them, then it's hunky-dory.

About Me

2003-06-16T17:33:00.000-04:00

OK, here's a few stats: I'm 18 years old, male. I live in West Michigan, which is the sensible side of the state. The Detroiters and Ann Arborites have been subverted by the eevil Canadians. I'm an evangelical (!) Calvinist (!) neoconservative (!) But I'm not Jewish, so they wouldn't let me join any Top Sekrit Cabals. I would convert, but I don't think Jews believe in predestination. I hope to blog about politics, faith and humor. I think this is a fairly unique niche so I should get lots of hits and linkage. Note to the irony-impaired (and believe me, you don't know who you are): the above statement was ironic.

Why National Geographic Sucks

2003-06-16T16:48:00.000-04:00

I've gotten National Geographic for years, since I was in elementary school, I think (as a gift). I used to read about random tribes in Africa or whatever, and would finish the issue thinking I'd learned stuff. I knew the people who wrote it were probably leftist weirdos, but I assumed it was mostly accurate. In recent years I've been too busy with school and stuff to really sit down and read it - I have a map collection, and I found myself just shaking out the magazine to get the map. Eventually, I told the person who's been giving me the subscription all these years "thanks, but I'm not interested anymore." Looking back, I'm glad I did. The article I'm going to be writing about / fisking is entitled "The Great Lakes: Are They Shrinking" and is found in the Sept. 2002 issue. An excerpt can be found here at the National Geographic website. First off, there are plenty of statistics that don't prove the author's point. "Ontario's snowpack near Lake Superior has declined in depth and density, with snowmelt running below average in three of the past five years." Three out of five. And we can assume that the sixth year previous saw above-average snowmelt, since he would have included it in the statistic if it had been below. That gives us, hmm, 3/6. Uh-oh, half the winters in our sample are above the average. The author also spends a page or so whining about ships that scrape bottom. First off, there's always going to be shallow water. There are always going to be stupid boaters. Secondly, he still hasn't proved that the low water isn't a cyclical thing, but is due to global warming. There are a lot of just completely random facts in here, too. I don't know if the author had a word requirement he was trying to get to, or what. Here's one: "If only the Earth were flat and the lakes adaptable as buckets, there'd be enough H2O here to flood all the land of the Western Hemisphere under 2 feet of water." Um, OK. It seems that if the earth were flat, the frickin' OCEANS would cover the land. But whatever, keep your precious little factoid. It's all yours, dude. He also describes the water cycle as a "complex hydrologic cycle". Yeah, that's why we learned about it in third grade. Evaporation -> Clouds -> Precipitation -> Runoff -> Lake -> Evaporation again. Real complex; why are you writing for National Geographic again? The best (saddest?) parts, however, are the pathetic attempts to translate the locals' words into paranoid envirospeak. "'Oh, the lake will come up someday,' Cline said. A retired surgeon and Wolrd War II leatherneck dive-bomber pilot, he has seen much of the upper Great Lakes from the cockpit of his private plane... now, at the top of the steps above his dehydrated beach, I could only say to Cline, "I hope you're right." The money quote? (emphasis mine): "Although there is still some uncertainty about the effects of global warming, current studies suggest that under some scenarios the water level of the Great Lakes could be further lowered by three feet or more by the middle of the 21st century." Oh boy. If you can find the issue, read the article. It's great.